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And now for the less fun but IMPORTANT Stuff...

OVERALL

  • No pets

  • No smoking inside OR OUTSIDE; if we find cigarette butts you may be subject to additional fees, and its a huge risk of forest fire tossing those things anyway.  This is ours and nature's biggest pet peeve.  Don't be an idiot.

  • No need to remove shoes but its a nice gesture; if you've been outdoors playing, check them before you track anything in.  There is a great space to put them right below the entry table.

  • Although we are quite secluded and the river muffles a lot of sound, neighbors are not far away.  Be conscious and kind of this fact and keep a low profile: many people on this street are full time residents and they live here to get away from the crazy - so don't be the crazy and leave them alone.

  • Stay on our property, which extends from the far ends of the house and garage directly to the river.  NOTE that the playhouse just upstream from us is NOT part of our property and is quite unsafe

  • If you've been hunting or fishing, you may not do any game prep on the property unless its already prepared to cook and eat.

  • If there are any stains, stench, parts, or others found from your hunting or fishing trips, you will be subject to significant additional fees and not welcome to return.

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ANIMALS and TRASH

  • If you see a wild animal, never try to interact with, feed, or approach it.  Go back inside.  While they may not be threatening at first, we assure you that bears, raccoons, foxes, wolves, mountain lions, deer, elk, marmots, and others are everywhere and lurking just beyond the forest edge, and they emerge frequently when they think they can do some fishing or snacking - humans are either a snack or an obstacle to one.  Moose are known to be among the meanest of the bunch, so don't let them fool you.  Enjoy taking pictures from inside.

  • Never leave trash or any food, kitchen items, the grill, clothing, or other human items outside once you are done for the day.  Clean off the picnic tables quickly after use.  Don't scoop food or pour liquids (other than water) onto the ground.  This is what the wild animals come for.

  • Always pack full trash bags into the garage and be sure the lid and all doors are fully closed.  If one of them spills outside, you must clean it up completely and immediately.  The trash bin should NEVER be outside the garage except for pickup.

  • If its a trash day (WEDNESDAY MORNINGS), it is your important responsibility to place the trash bin out in the cul-de-sac before 8am; you should not leave it overnight before or after because animals will get into it.

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AMENITIES

  • You are welcome to use the internet and wifi at any time (details printed at the house) - we are pretty far out so assume it will be best effort and slower than usual.  Better yet, this is a great place to detox from all that!

  • You are welcome to use the TV, satellite, and bluetooth speakers at any time.  Please do not unplug, move, or reconfigure them.  Some basic instructions on use are printed in the house.

  • Occasionally the satellite may be covered in snow or water and this can affect the quality of the signal.  Please DO NOT attempt to scrape or brush it off, as the roof is dangerous and it can easily knock it off the signal path.

  • There is a charging station located on the table near the front door where you can charge all your gadgets.

  • We have a bunch of games for your use including some cards and a few dice and board games.  You are welcome to them as well, but please clean them up fully when done and put them back as you found them.  For some of them, once pieces are lost, they are unplayable.

  • We usually leave a Nintendo Wii plugged in for your use.  There is also a Nintendo Switch dock.  Again, do not reconfigure, and please do not erase, add, or edit the game data that exists.  Our kids will be sad.  😞

  • You may use the fireplace in the main room, and are welcome to use any wood that's left next to it or in the garage (we do not guarantee there will always be some).  We appreciate if you bring some to contribute, but never use anything from the property or area surrounding.

  • Three are several places where wood is piled, but it is still curing after being cut.  this should NOT be used for fires.

  • You must be present and awake the ENTIRE TIME that the fire is burning.  If you are unable to effectively start and maintain a fire, manage the flue or other tools to help it burn properly, please do not use.

  • You are welcome to use the heating elements, space heaters, windows, or fans as needed.  This solid wood cabin has no central air, but each room can slightly adjust the level of heat coming from the baseboards.  Make use of blankets where you can, we have plenty.

  • The heat on the main floor is "radiant:" this means it is under the wood floors.  The good news is its nice and warm for your feet; the bad news is that it takes a long time to change either up or down.  Please be patient and don't adjust it thinking there is something wrong. 

  • We try to keep it at a decent temp by the time you arrive, but it can take up to 12 hours to change significantly.  NEVER crank it up past 70-72.  If there has been a drastic drop in temperature outside (in winter you can see drops down to -20 or worse), it can take up to a full day for the interior to return to a normal temp, and there is little that you can do to change that other than light a fire.  The heat is not malfunctioning when this occurs.

  • with no forced air, there is no AC.  in the summer, your best bet is to open a few windows overnight as the cool air will bring it down considerably, and then close them up as the sun comes up in the morning.  You will be surprised how well this works in a narrow canyon next to a river.  AC is typically not necessary even on the hottest days.

  • You are welcome to use the barbecue gas grill outside on the deck - it should be stored in the garage.  Clean it well with the wire brushes when done and try not to let too much collect on the ground.  Always place it back in the garage with doors fully closed, as the grease and food that gets attached to it will attract critters.

  • We have some labeled wine glasses that you may take to Paonia with you if you are doing a wine tour - this gives you a free taste at the vineyard represented on the glass.  Just bring them back intact!

  • we also have a couple small coolers you are welcome to take on day trips and then replace them where you found them.

  • In the garage you will find a handful of outdoor games which you are welcome to use and put back when finished.

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THE WATER

  • Please conserve where possible for the bathrooms, kitchen, laundry, and others,  - this entire neighborhood runs on a single well

  • Don't drink the river water - its unusually fresh this high up in the Rockies but still not worth the risk.

  • Flash floods are possible here, though very rare.  They can occur from dislodged snow melt or beaver dams, avalanches that smash down the valley upstream, or sudden rainstorms.  If you hear an upstream rumble or observe a rapid increase or decrease in the level of water, move away from the river area immediately and go in the house.  FYI the house has never flooded and sits nearly 20' above - you will be fine.

  • Don't let the shallow fool you - this river is fast moving and can carry you away easily; swim or wade at your own risk

  • We recommend you wear shoes with rubber traction if you plan to wade into the water

  • If you plan to fish, you can do so as long as you are on our property (just assume that's the area directly behind the house), but according to the State of Colorado, you still need a license.  FYI it is very rare for them to do a check on private land, but our direct riverfront is not necessarily optimal for fishing anyway.

 

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KITCHEN

  • This house has a single 40-gallon water heater; you should space out all cleaning activities that require hot water and minimize where you can.  Once it runs out, it can take an hour or more to reheat a new batch.  Assume that any two hot water activities will use it up in short duration; including a couple showers, a shower and the dishwasher, or other combos.

  • This house relies solely on a septic system which operates different than traditional urban sewage systems.  As such:

    • Do not scrape food into the drain - get as much of it as possible into the trash before rinsing or placing in dishwasher

    • NEVER dump grease or oil into the drain - this will quickly clog and is not biodegradable

  • Dump cooking oil and grease into a bowl until it solidifies and then scoop it into the trash, or use a can that will be thrown out anyway.  We sometimes place the bowl into the freezer briefly to solidify it quickly.

  • Please clean up after yourself.  We have a cleaning service after every guest, but they are not there to be your ongoing maids.  Treat it like your own kitchen (which we hope means with care).  After every use:

    • scrape and rinse all dishes and put them in the dishwasher

    • run dishwasher only when you have filled it to conserve water

    • wipe down counters

    • wrap trash and take it to the garage as it fills and replace with provided bags - including recycled goods - there is no separate service at this time for that.  If this concerns you, we welcome you packing it out with you

  • Don't leave excess food open in the fridge - we have baggies and plastic containers for use on leftovers; trash it if you don't eat it by the time you leave

  • If you are staying for awhile, replace dishes and utensils to the same places they were found as you unload the dishwasher.  we have labeled it in many places

 

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BATHROOMS and LAUNDRY

  • As with the kitchen guidance, conserve water wherever and whenever you can; remember the 40-gallon tank limit.

  • This house runs on a septic system, not traditional urban sewage pipes.  As such, NEVER put anything other than the provided toilet paper and what comes out of you naturally into the toilets.  All other items will quickly clog the system and do not biodegrade at the proper levels.  Trash cans are provided for everything else.  No diapers, no sanitary wipes, no chemicals, no hygiene products, condoms, cigarettes, NOTHING.

  • Normal soaps, toothpaste, and body cleaners are fine.

  • For laundry, only use the provided detergents, and only run a full load as needed.

  • If you have a large group, we request that you stagger showers across days, where possible, and take as short a shower as you can.  A lot of visitors using a lot of water can quickly overwhelm even the best septic systems.

 

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AROUND THE PROPERTY

  • Our property is NOT wheelchair accessible, although the couple stairs from ground to deck are wide and easy to traverse.  There is also a ramp under the deck in the back, though we do not place it or prepare it.  If you wish to use it, you will need 1-2 able-bodied people to lift it and put it in place.

  • The street is well-maintained but it is unpaved and narrow with blind drives and turns the entire way: drive slow no matter the weather, and watch for mud or ice.  You don't need 4-wheel drive to get here except in winter (many nearby places you may want to visit are strongly recommended 4x4 year round), but it could be mildly challenging given the right conditions and vehicle.

  • No more than 3 cars are allowed at this house for any overnight or extended time.  No long vehicles such as trucks or RV's.

  • You can use the garage to park one small or mid sized vehicle on the side furthest from the house, and please do if you have more than one vehicle.  the other side is typically for storage.  We do not provide an opener so you will need to do that from the inside.  NOTE that only one side door works, it is marked.

  • Do not park in the cul-de-sac where possible, and pull as close to our garage as you can.

  • You can hike up the river or up the mountains, but be aware that there are multiple other private properties at the end of this cul-de-sac.  beyond it on all sides is National Forest, and there is a campground just upriver, so be kind to others enjoying the outdoors.

  • If it snows during your stay, the street will be plowed within 24 hours, but you are responsible for clearing the area in front of the garage and the walkway to the house.  It is quite a small area.  We provide multiple snow shovels to do so.

  • Please sweep excess snow off the entire deck (not just the immediate walking area) as soon as there is a lull in the snowfall.  The deck is fully covered, but the angle and wind generally leave a little bit around the edges that should be removed promptly to prevent damage and slippery areas.  There is a large shop broom in the garage.

 

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SAFETY

  • You should NEVER have any open flame for any reason, inside or out.  This includes candles, cigarettes, fireworks, etc.  If we ever find any evidence of this occurring, you will be subject to additional fees and we may report you to the police as most of it is illegal in a place like this, EVEN ON PRIVATE PROPERTY.  Use common sense.

  • Furthermore, never leave the active fireplace or grill unattended for any period of time.

  • There are several flashlights available in the nook at the end of the kitchen.  Please use sparingly and return them to the same location.

  • There are multiple fire extinguishers and a couple fire blankets around the house, generally under sinks.  use as necessary and inform us immediately if that happens.

  • There is a first aid kit in a drawer to the left of the kitchen sink.  Please only use it for emergencies and when you do not already have the proper materials (like a band-aid, tweezers, etc).  let us know if you had to use it so we can restock.

  • 911 works here, but you should expect extended times for anyone to reach you.  The nearest hospital is in Glenwood Springs.  A landline phone is provided as there is typically no cell coverage in this area.

 

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UPON LEAVING

  • Clean up reasonably after yourself; we have a cleaning service after every stay but they are not hotel maids.  We actually live here a lot of the time when you do not.

  • All unwashed dishes should be in the dishwasher; if its full, you can set it to run as you leave.

  • Collect used towels, sheets, rags, and other things in a single obvious area, preferably near the laundry

  • Never leave the main floor or upstairs thermostats at more than 70, and turned everything else off.  Anything that was not already plugged in when you arrive needs to be unplugged when you leave (space heaters, electric blankets, toasters, etc)

  • Close windows and doors, lock up and leave the keys back in the lockbox.  Be sure the garage is closed and that door locked, also

 

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FINALLY: Leave us a great review if you liked your stay!  Our family is able to live in this beautiful place because nice people come to stay here.  And more nice people come when they see you had a good time, so help us out - thank you!

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